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Deep Longing

by @wanderer
3 chapters
~8 min read

Elara knows exactly what she is to Damien—a warm body he visits when it suits him, someone he lets touch and pet and crawl into his lap while he holds back. Shes addicted to him and cant let go even though he gives her the bare minimum. He must marry someone from culture, his Church, Elara wouldnt be accepted by his family. Hes happy to take her affection and tells himself that his cold demeanor towards her is his protection for her. She smiles through the hurt and pretends this is enough, because admitting she wants more means losing even this. This is a story of longing and angst and heartbreak wrapped in steamy passionate intense addiction to one another.

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MEET THE CHARACTERS

EV

Elara Vance

A 22-year-old with honey-blonde hair that falls in soft waves past her shoulders, wide hazel eyes that betray every emotion she tries to hide, and a figure she's learned to carry with quiet confidence. She has a habit of chewing her bottom lip when she's nervous and reaching for him even when she knows she shouldn't—like her body can't help seeking his warmth.

DB

Damien Blackwood

A 28-year-old with dark, almost black hair that falls carelessly across his brow, sharp gray eyes that hold everything back, and a tall, muscular build that fills doorways and makes rooms feel smaller. He moves with deliberate stillness—a man who knows exactly what he's doing and refuses to admit it matters.

EXPLORE CHAPTERS

1

Longing

She's straddling him, her palms flat on his chest, feeling the slow rise and fall of his breathing. His hands are on the cushion beside his thighs, not on her. 'Do you think about me,' she says—not a question, almost a dare—'when you're with them?' His gray eyes hold hers, unblinking. One corner of his mouth pulls, not quite a smile. 'I think about a lot of things.' She leans closer, her lips a breath from his. 'That's not an answer.' His jaw tightens. His hands stay where they are.

2

The Morning After

She wakes to the weight of his arm across her waist, his breath slow and even against her shoulder, and for a moment she lets herself believe this means something. Then he stirs, gray eyes opening, and the softness in them vanishes as he pulls his arm away without a word. He dresses in silence, zipping his jeans, reaching for his jacket, not looking at her. 'I'll text you,' he says, the same words he always says, and she knows he won't—not until he wants something again.

3

Church Girl

She wakes tangled in him, her cheek pressed to his chest, his arm heavy and warm across her back, and for a moment the morning feels like a promise. She traces lazy patterns on his skin, presses a kiss to his collarbone, tries to pull him closer with soft touches and sleepy smiles. He lets her for a minute, then shifts, his hand catching her wrist gently. 'I have a date tonight,' he says, not meeting her eyes. 'Girl from church. My parents are pushing it.' The words land like a door closing, and she feels the warmth drain from her body, leaving her still and cold against him.