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He shouldn't be in this car with the girl who is a walking red flag, but now she's sobbing in his lap, and her devastating beauty is a pain he can't escape. He knows he's going to let this addiction ruin him.
Why am I here? Why did I bother to come? Shes on my lap again, sobbing over... I don't know what. All I know is that she's wearing a pretty dress and crying like a cute puppy on my chest. And fuck does it make me want to lock her away and make me do stupid things. She trusts me. She's a red flag, but she trusts me. We've broken up and got back together more times than I can count.
It sucks. It feels like I'm dying. I pinch the little cheek of the baby in my hand. The little girl beside me jumping up and down. The baby gently twists the wedding ring in my finger.... I sigh. Maya's running round, trying to catch Evelyn, our elder daughter. Maya groans, annoyed. Evelyn walks over to me and teases her mom. I almost flinch with the way that Maya touched me to grab Evelyn. My arm hurts. She had smashed a plate against it earlier, when Evelyn was at school and Jasper (the baby in my hands) was sleeping. I sigh... Smiling and pretending like everything is normal. It's not. She didn't get better. **I** didnt get better. We got worse. Married worse.