"I'm such an idiot," I groaned, muffling my voice beneath the pillow I'd thrown over my head. How quickly my mood had flipped—every spark of happiness strangled by an onslaught of worry gnawing at the edges.
"You're not," Zach reassured me, propping himself up against his pillows. Meanwhile, I was sprawled at the foot of his bed, mid-breakdown, limbs tangled in the blanket.
"Yes, I am," I shot back stubbornly, refusing to swallow his comfort. I knew exactly how badly I'd messed this up.
Zach let out a slow breath. "He knows your name, big deal. There's nothing he can do with that. K knows mine and I couldn't care less. You need to relax."
I peeled the pillow off and sat upright, tuning him out. "What if he traces it? What if he shows up at our place?" My voice cracked on the edge of a panic attack.
"Sweetheart, how would he even find out from just your first name? That’s practically impossible." Zach adjusted his position, folding his legs beneath him so he could meet my eyes.
"I don’t know!" I threw my hands up in frustration. "It’s way too easy to track people down these days with just a sliver of info."
"Yeah, but it’s only your name," he repeated, sounding tired of repeating himself. "If it was that simple, everyone would be a victim of fraud or worse."
My mouth opened and closed without finding words. Switching gears, I whispered, "Okay, but what if he calls boss-lady and spills everything?" The idea of her finding out pinched my chest tighter than the thought of Nathan discovering who I am.
"Lie," was his blunt answer.
"He already knows my name, Zach! That’s proof enough!"
He gave me a long, steady look, like he was reading my thoughts. "You know what?"
My heart jerked nervously. "What?"
"I think you’re flipping out for a reason you aren’t ready to face yet, so you’re hiding behind these fears."
A sharp ache pricked my chest. He'd spotted the real reason, but admitting it felt impossible. "What are you, a shrink? You’re overthinking this," I denied quickly, the coward in me desperate to look away.
He didn’t back down, his gaze dissecting me like I was under a microscope. "You like him, don’t you?" His voice softened.
"No," I scoffed, swallowing the lump in my throat. He’d stripped away my defenses, exposing the truth I was too scared to admit.
He saw through my lie, his eyes sad. "You’re scared because you’re crushing on him, but you think it’s just meaningless for him."
"It is meaningless to him," I said bitterly, a ruthless fist tightening my insides. "You don’t call a sex line expecting to date the operator. That’s just stupid."
Zach raised an eyebrow. "You want to date him?"
"No!" I blurted out. "I just... I..." Words fled me. I sighed heavily, the swell of emotion catching me off guard. Maybe it was that time of the month.
"Sara?" Zach’s tone lowered, worry threading through it.
"Okay... you’re right. I do like him." There it was, my confession laid bare. "And I feel ridiculous because we’ve only talked twice, and both times it was about... you know, getting off." I rubbed my eye, annoyed with myself for feeling something so fast when I knew next to nothing about him.
"Sweetie..." Zach hesitated, searching for the right words.
Once the floodgates opened, I couldn’t stop. "There’s something about him. Maybe it’s how generous he seems—like he actually cares about my pleasure. I’ve never had that before. Maybe all I’m feeling is lust."
Zach nodded thoughtfully. "That tracks."
"But I think it could be more if I let it." I bit my lip anxiously. "It’s exciting. Naughty. He makes me feel like a sexy, wanted woman with actual needs he’s determined to meet."
"If you’ve never felt that, it’s no wonder it’s so tempting," Zach mused.
"The problem is I’m scared I’m the only one feeling this way. He probably doesn’t even think twice about me, but I’m constantly thinking about him." Embarrassed, I chuckled nervously.
Out of the blue, Zach suggested, "Maybe we should go out this weekend."
I frowned. "But don’t you have a date with Danny?"
He snorted. "Exactly why I need to get drunk. Seeing him again is going to suck."
I let out a genuine laugh. "True." Silence fell between us, then I cleared my throat. "Thanks, by the way."
He smiled warmly, and I returned it easily. "No problem. Honestly, it’s kind of nice not being the one with guy problems for once."
We chuckled together, the tension easing—until my phone buzzed sharply.
"Oh, look at me, Mr. Popular," I joked, fishing my phone out of my pocket. My smile faded when I saw the caller ID: our boss. Anxiety prickled at my skin like a cold breeze. Had she somehow found out?
"What is it?" Zach’s concern was immediate.
I showed him the screen, biting my lip. Zach’s eyes flicked over it before shaking his head. "She can’t know. Probably just a coincidence." My nerves weren’t soothed.
Taking a shaky breath, I knew I had to pick up. At least Zach was there, a steady anchor.
I hit answer, flipping the call to speaker. "Hey," I said, forcing casual.
"Hey, baby," she greeted cheerfully. Relief flooded me at the warmth in her voice. "How’s everything going?"
"Great," I said, a bit too eagerly. "Zach’s here, too."
"Hey Jane," Zach chimed in sweetly.
"Hey, handsome," she replied with a grin. "You two behaving yourselves?"
"Yes, Mum," I teased, genuine affection lacing my words. Plot twist: she really is my mom. Crazy, right?
"Mm, why don’t I believe you?" she laughed warmly. "Anyway, gotta keep this quick—I'm on your work phone…" she trailed off pointedly.
Message received. "You know I’m hardly ever on my other phone," I shrugged, while Zach chuckled softly beside me.
"Anyway," she smiled. "I’ve been chatting with a website designer."
I blinked, surprised. "Uh… what?"
"Yep! Thought it might be time to give the site a facelift."
That caught me off guard but also sparked a flicker of excitement. Maybe things were shifting, maybe not all chaos and secrets.
Zach grinned at me, and for the first time in a while, I felt a little lighter inside.