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The Almost Years
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The Almost Years

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The First Crack
1
Chapter 1 of 5

The First Crack

The gallery hums with chatter and clinking glasses. Sophie's hand freezes mid-reach for a wine glass—Daniel stands across the room, his gaze locked on hers. Her pulse slams against her ribs. He's bigger than she remembers, shoulders broader, jaw sharper, but his eyes haven't changed. They still see right through her. She sets the glass down, her fingers trembling. He's moving toward her, and she can't breathe.

The gallery hummed with low chatter and the scuff of shoes on polished concrete. Halogen lights threw sharp shadows across bare white walls, and somewhere a glass clinked against a bottle. Sophie's hand was mid-reach for a wine glass when she saw him—Daniel, across the room, his gaze already locked on hers. Her fingers stopped an inch from the stem. The noise around her flattened into something distant, muffled, like hearing it from underwater.

He was bigger than she remembered. Broader through the shoulders, the leather jacket stretched tight across them. His jaw had sharpened, and there was something harder in the way he stood, feet planted, hands at his sides. But his eyes—those hadn't changed. Still that same hazel, still looking at her like he could see through every wall she'd built in the years since she'd last felt them on her.

She set the glass down. Her fingers were trembling. She pressed them flat against the table and watched him start to move. He didn't look away. The gallery crowd parted around him like water around a stone, and she couldn't breathe. Her chest was too tight, her pulse a dull drum against her ribs, and she was seventeen again, standing in the rain outside his apartment, not knowing whether to knock or walk away.

He stopped a foot from her. Close enough that she could smell him—leather, coffee, something clean underneath. He rubbed the back of his neck, that old habit surfacing, and for a second he looked almost uncertain. Then he said her name. Just her name, the way he used to say it, low and careful, like it mattered.

"Sophie."

She lifted her chin. Kept her shoulders back. "Daniel." Her voice came out steadier than she felt. "You look… good."

"You look the same." He said it like it wasn't a compliment. Like it was something heavier. "I mean—" He stopped, exhaled. "I mean you look exactly like I remembered. That's what I meant."

The heat rose in her cheeks. She looked away, at the wine glass she hadn't picked up, at the condensation slick against the stem. "It's been a while."

"Five years." He said it without hesitation. "Five years, three months, and—" He stopped himself. His jaw tightened. "I kept count."

She felt something crack. A small fissure in the armor she'd spent years building. She tightened her grip on the edge of the table and forced herself to meet his eyes. "Why?"

He didn't flinch. "Because I never should have let you walk away."

The gallery noise flooded back in—laughter, a clatter of heels, the low hum of conversation. But none of it touched the space between them. She was still holding the table. He was still looking at her like she was the only thing in the room worth seeing.

"I'm not doing this here," she said. Her voice cracked on the last word. She bit the inside of her cheek and steadied herself. "I can't—not in front of all these people."

He nodded, slow. Then he said, "Then somewhere else." It wasn't a question. It was a door held open, waiting for her to decide whether to walk through. She looked at his calloused hands, his steady gaze, the way he was rubbing the back of his neck again. And she felt the crack widen.

The word sat on her tongue, heavy and terrifying. She looked past him, at the gallery crowd—strangers in expensive coats, their laughter brittle and bright. None of them knew what was happening. None of them could see the crack running through her chest. She looked back at Daniel. At his steady eyes, the way he wasn't rushing her, the way he was just waiting. Like he had all the time in the world. Like she was worth it.

"Yes." The word came out smaller than she'd meant it to. She cleared her throat and said it again, firmer. "Yes. Somewhere else."

He exhaled. A soft sound, almost relief. Then he stepped aside and nodded toward the door. She pushed off from the table, her legs unsteady. The wine glass she hadn't touched sat abandoned on the white cloth, and she left it there, a small ghost of the night she'd planned. She followed him through the crowd. He didn't reach for her hand, but he stayed close enough that her shoulder almost brushed his arm, a wall against the noise and the bodies. She kept her eyes on the back of his jacket, on the way the leather creased when he moved.

The door opened onto cold night air. It hit her face, sharp and clean, and she realized how hot the gallery had been, how close. She stopped on the sidewalk, the door swinging shut behind them, muffling the hum of voices into nothing. The street was quiet. A few cars passed. A streetlamp pooled light at their feet.

Daniel turned to face her. He was rubbing the back of his neck again, and that small, familiar gesture undid something in her chest. She pressed her hand there, over her ribs, as if she could hold herself together.

"There's a diner," he said. "Two blocks. Open all night." He paused. "Or we could just walk."

She didn't know what she wanted. She only knew she couldn't go back inside, couldn't pretend she'd come alone, couldn't smile at acquaintances and talk about the art. She shook her head. "Walk."

He nodded. Turned left. She fell into step beside him, her hands shoved into the pockets of her sweater, the cold biting at her cheeks. They walked in silence for half a block. The city hummed around them—distant sirens, a car door slamming, someone laughing two streets over. But the space between them felt sealed, private, like a room with no walls.

She caught herself looking at his hands. The way they hung at his sides, relaxed but ready. She remembered those hands on her waist, on her face, in her hair. She looked away, at the cracked sidewalk, at her own boots moving one after the other. The crack in her chest was wider now, and she didn't know how to stop it from spreading.

"You're quiet," he said. Not accusing. Just noticing.

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

She stopped walking. He stopped too, a step ahead, turning to face her. The streetlamp caught the side of his face, casting half in shadow. She opened her mouth, but the words tangled. She closed it. Shook her head.

"I don't know where to start," she said. Her voice broke on the last word, and she bit the inside of her cheek, hard.

He stepped closer. Not crowding her, but close enough that she could feel the heat coming off him. "Start anywhere," he said, low and quiet. "I'll follow."

She looked at him, at the way the streetlamp carved light and shadow across his face, and the question rose in her throat like something she'd swallowed years ago and never quite managed to digest. It came out before she could stop it. "Why now?" Her voice was quieter than she'd intended. "After all this time—why now, Daniel?"

He held her gaze. The air between them felt thin, charged, like the moment before a storm breaks. He rubbed the back of his neck again, slower this time, and she watched his hand drop to his side, his fingers curling into a loose fist. "Because I've been walking around with something I never said," he told her. "And I figured if I didn't say it now, I'd carry it for the rest of my life."

She pressed her lips together. The cold bit at her cheeks, at the exposed skin of her wrists, but she barely felt it. "What thing?"

He took a breath, slow and deliberate. "I was a coward," he said. "The night you left, I had a whole speech ready. About how I didn't want you to go. About how I was in love with you. But I stood in my doorway and watched you walk to your car, and I didn't say a word." He laughed once, low and bitter. "I told myself there'd be another chance. That I'd call you the next day. That we had time."

The crack in her chest widened, and she felt something hot and sharp lodge behind her ribs. She looked down at her boots, at the way they scuffed against the cracked sidewalk. "You never called."

"I know." His voice was rough. "I told myself you needed space. Then a month passed. Then a year. And every time I thought about reaching out, I convinced myself it was too late, that you'd moved on, that I'd missed my window." He stepped closer, and she felt the heat of him, smelled the leather of his jacket, the faint trace of coffee. "I'm done convincing myself."

She lifted her head. His eyes were on hers, steady and open, and she saw the thing he hadn't said sitting at the edge of them, heavy and waiting. She should say something. She should tell him she'd spent five years convincing herself she didn't care, that she'd built her whole life around the story that he'd never wanted her the way she'd wanted him. The words sat on her tongue, but they wouldn't come out.

Instead, she reached out. Her fingers brushed his jacket sleeve, barely a touch, but he went still. The leather was cold under her fingertips, but she could feel the warmth of his arm through it, the tension in his muscle. She let her hand rest there, light and tentative, and she watched his throat move as he swallowed.

"I spent a long time being angry," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "At you. At myself. At the way things ended. Or didn't end." She pressed her palm flat against his arm. "I don't think I know how to do this without falling apart."

His hand came up, slow, and covered hers. His palm was warm, calloused, and she felt the tremor run through his fingers before he stilled them. "Then fall apart," he said. "I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere this time."

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